Do The Right Thing

I had a bit of a strange day yesterday. A short 45 minute blast on the training bike (quicker than intended), and then when I got home, I thought the weather was just too perfect to drive to work. So after I’d showered, I saddled up Siegfried, and headed off to visit clients.

Just as I was leaving Whitley Bay at about 8:30 a.m., I overtook another cyclist, who was trundling along the cycle path at just the sort of sedate pace that the weather demanded.

I couldn’t help but notice the can he was drinking from - a tin of pre-mixed gin & tonic (or if you prefer, Jynan Tonyxx).

This has led me to three possible conclusions:

• He was on his way home from a night shift - this represented a perfectly civilised end to the day. Or . . .
• I was in the presence of Captain Brownbottle . Or . . .
• This is a sign of the increasingly mainstream, non-sporty, non-Lycra type of cycling in the UK. If it’s OK to drink and drive, it’s just peachy to drink and ride. Even at breakfast time.

Which of these was the answer kept me puzzling for the whole day - in the end, 50 miles in the saddle, and some very slight sunburn to my hands and forearms. It doesn’t get much better than this!

Filed under: Bike Culture, Nutrition, Photographs, Silly Stuff, Whitley Bay | Digg! this story. | 1 Comment »

Well, it’s that time of year again - a whole bunch of people in France will be getting very excited about going cycling together. The press will find some drug stories to pedal out (sorry - bad pun), and despite the super-hero efforts of the many, their reputations will be dragged through the road grime by the few.

So in the spirit of The Tour, this week’s caption contest comes from Joe Shlabotnik on Flickr:

Remember, that entering our Friday Caption Contest is simplicity in itself. Just leave a comment below, with a suitably hilarious caption for this photo, and you could be the proud owner of that warm feeling that comes with the respect and admiration of your cycling peers.

Go on - you know you want to!

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I’ve just found this picture by Richard Masoner on Flickr, and had to share it with you:

The picture I have in my head is of Mr T riding up on a tiny little BMX, which he then locks with one of the chains from round his neck. Made me laugh, anyway.

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This is a brilliant idea – via Bike Hacks. It’s a bunch of ‘rust’ stickers that you can apply to your swish and fast ride to make it look like a pile of junk that’s not worth stealing. Given the intelligence of the average bike thief, you could probably apply these to your full-carbon road bike.

Now, if only someone would make a set of stickers to apply over the top of that nice Campy 11-speed stuff to make it look like a dodgy knock-off . . .

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Remember the story about the cobbler’s son always going unshod? Yeah, well last night I had a discussion with Von SmallHaussen about tapering and not over-cooking things a week before our Big Ride together (ooo-er!)

So in the spirit of do as I say, not as I do . . . .

• I’d been out running yesterday morning for something like 8 miles
• This morning I went out early with Training Buddy for a little fixed wheel in the hills fun. We did 40 miles, and around 4,000 ft of climbing . Though as I keep telling anyone who’ll listen - it’s not the Ups, but the Downs that hurt on a fixed wheel bike . .

Not feeling my best at the moment. Wondering about that run I have scheduled for tomorrow morning at 6 . . .

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I mean, really. Just WTF?

I’m hardly an expert when it comes to ‘long’ rides, but in this year’s Dunwich Dynamo I’ll be accompanied by some genuine novices. For one of these, the practicalities of 120 miles overnight, unsupported, with just one actual lavatory (at about 65 miles, and with a queue of ~200) might just be starting to sink in. So here’s the exchange of emails on the subject . . .

From: JXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: 24 June 2009 10:21:57 BST
To: Treggers McCracken <karl@XXXXXXXXXXXX>
Subject: do I need to buy some Tena lady ?

ha ha - bet that got your attention!

But seriously - is it a necessity or is there plenty of open space for me to drop trousers so to speak…

Hmmm Don’t really know what the subject of the email’s about, but the second paragraph seems to indicate some worries - best I soothe them:

From: Karl McCracken <karl@XXXXXXXXXXXX>

To: JXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
cc: [The rest of the team ]
Sent: Wed Jun 24 23:04:48 2009
Subject: Re: do I need to buy some Tena lady?

I’ve no idea what that is. We’ll be riding for about 10-12 hours & will drink about 4 littres of fluids each. Thankfully it’s all out in the countryside, there are lots of bushes, it’s dark, and there’s no-one else around to watch you pee. Apart from the 500 or so other cyclists. Some of whom have night vision goggles…

Which got this reply:

From: "Fat Rob" <Robert.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
Date: 25 June 2009 08:14:08 BST
To: "Karl McCracken" <karl@XXXXXXXXX>, "JXXXXXXXXXXX" , "Doktor Seth, "Tall Rob" <XXXXXXXXX3@hotmail.com>, "The Physicist" <XXXXXXXX@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: RE: do I need to buy some Tena lady?

Why do you think cycling shorts have elasticated legs……..

Hmmm. . . .

From: JXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: 25 June 2009 08:35:37 BST
To: "’karl@XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX’"
Subject: Re: do I need to buy some Tena lady?

Thanks for sharing this with everyone.

But the thing is, I figured that people would be interested in these sorts of practicalities. After all, no-one wants to make like That Guy From the US Air Force, and get electrolytes on the outside of their drinks bottles! Actually, some people are probably into that sort of thing, but for the rest of us, here’s the advice:

• Riding any sort of distance, you need to drink. My experience of bonking has been due to lack of fluids rather than fuel, and now I drink ~500-1000ml of fluids per hour’s riding.
• But riding when you really need to pee is no fun. Deal with the problem, rather than just holding it all inside.
• Brooks Saddles need more than just Proofride to protect them from a pint o’piss, so get off the bike first.
• Guys - you’ll probably have trouble finding ‘the old chap’ when you grope your way up the leg of your bib shorts. Unless you really are some sort of pervert, the saddle’s pressure is likely to have had just the opposite effect of Pfeizer’s little blue pill. But don’t worry - the other guys riding past will have experienced that same shrinking feeling, and the women riding past . . .
• . . . well, if they’re wearing bib shorts, they’ve got more to worry about than the apparent lack of a punch you’re packing.
• So girls: Unless you want to get totally naked while you squat behind that bush (that we can all see round as we ride past), opt for plain shorts rather than a bib. More pressure on the tummy while you ride, but with today’s proliferation of helmet-mounted cameras, better that than #1 ranking on YouTube!

Filed under: Dunwich Dynamo, Friends, Silly Stuff, Too Much Information, Video | Digg! this story. | 16 Comments »

I’ve never been to Glastonbury for The Festival - Wife doesn’t really ‘do’ camping, unless it involves the inside of a five star hotel. And that’s all the excuse I need.

Anyway.

Glastonbury in case you didn’t know, is a haunt of hippies, drop-outs, and the disaffected of the counter culture. In short, the sort of wierdo’s who think that a bike is a practical form of transport. Yeah, right!

So this week’s Friday Caption Contest features an image from the Glastonbury Festival - from the 2008 festival, a Creative Commons image by londoninflames (Bah! Creative commons - another damned hippie idea!):

I’m not sure, but are those a pair of Pedersen bikes being ridden through the background of the picture?

Whatever.

The fact is that this is your chance to make history. Just come up with a suitably funny / ironic / topical caption for this photo, and leave it below as a comment. It’s the one sure way to ensure your immortality!

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This photo is likely to cause some offence, not least of all in the tone of the captions it’s likely to attract.

But I make no apology whatsoever - the World Wide Naked Bike Ride is a serious movement, promoting freedom and love and something that I’m sure is related to the climate. Probably. It also features naked people on bikes, and often as not, this is the raw material of comedy genius.

See what you can make of this photo by Cadigan has listed with a Creative Commons license on Flickr:

As usual, for the best caption, I’m offering a prize beyond the dreams of mere avarice. Yes, get this one right on the nose, and you could win the admiration and respect of people who ride bikes from all over the world. That’s a prize that money just can’t buy!

(Thanks also to Andrea at Velorution for blogging this photo earlier this week - great find!)

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The UK isn’t actually the most dangerous place in the world to ride your bike, and some local councils do make efforts to create a better cycling environment. But in general, what we have is tokenism, where the facilities are created with the money left once the "real" work’s been done by the transport department.

Worse still, I’m sure that it’s designed by people who don’t actually ride, and vew people on bikes as being a bit like pedestrians, only slightly more annoying to motorists.

Over on YouTube, CityCycling has started a bit of a local campaign about this sort of thing, including this little vid . Have a look, and see how many of the potential hazards that this bike lane introduces to the rider:

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Notice anything odd about this sculpture, that’s adjacent to the cycle route between Whitley Bay and Blyth?

Remember that cunning trick they did when filming the Lord of The Rings, that made the 6′8" Sir Ian McKellan look taller than the 5′3" Elijah Wood? Lots of really smart jiggery-pokery with camera angles to fool your eye into thinking things were smaller than they were?

Well, have a look at the sculpture again, but this time as a moving picture:

Pretty cool, huh?

Filed under: Bike Culture, Bike to Work, Cycle Infrastructure, Photographs, Video | Digg! this story. | 2 Comments »