World Exclusive! Peanut Butter Kit Kats DON’T Contain Heroin
Last year I developed a bit of a ‘thing’ for Peanut Butter Kit Kats. Actually, it was more of a habbit (a really serious habit), and after a while, it got me thinking. Was it really Peanut Butter, or perhaps another ‘golden brown‘ substance?
I mean after all, Nestlé’s marketing of milk formula is still discussed in business schools as an example of bad corporate behaviour. And it’s still current news.
So I began to suspect that Nestlé had gone even further, and was now selling heroin under the guise of confectionary.
But today, I can exclusively reveal that this is NOT the case. Peanut Butter Kit Kats contain no heroin at all. (Which isn’t to say that I’m not 100% certain they don’t contain a substitute - something like methadone perhaps?).
How do I know this? Well, just after the turn-around point of today’s horrible windy weather bike ride, I stopped at the Edinburgh Bicycle Cooperative in Byker. I needed some new brake blocks, and a sugary snack to top up on fuel.
What I bought was a Vanilla Crisp PowerBar. When unwrapped, this was a slab of gooey, sticky, golden brown heaven. Without a doubt (in my capacity as someone with no professional knowledge whatsoever of hard drugs), this is definitely the Grade ‘A’ Good Stuff (you know what I mean - I just don’t want to get sued). I must have more!
The funny thing is, I’ve just noticed that the label (which I retained, so as to be able to try to score some more later after I’ve sold my daughter to pay for it) features a Nestlé logo.
Surely this is more than just a coincidence!