Whacked Out Conspiracy Theory
On Sunday my neck was feeling quite a lot better in the afternoon, so I headed out on Christine to see how it felt riding. I’d just fitted new aerobars (Profile T2+) to this bike, and wanted to give the setup a try . . . but not too much with my dodgy neck! So most of the riding was sitting up, hands on the ‘hoods.
Anyway, I spent most of the ride in town, rather than out on the wide open country roads. And I’ve realised that The Government is conspiring against cyclists. Despite what they say, they don’t want you to ride your bike. Here’s what they’re doing . . .
- When you come up to a traffic light, and try not to unclip, you probably do what I do, and slow right down. Heck, if I could do a track stand, I would - it’s a real pain clipping back in when wearing road shoes - the soles are really slippy, and if you don’t hit the spot, your foot goes sliding off the front of the pedal, much to the amusement of people in cars.
- Every pair of cleats you buy for your shoes / pedals has an RFID embedded in it. No, really, they do.
- And the traffic lights have sensors in them, and will remain on red right up to the instant you unclip. As soon as the cleat leaves the pedal, the lights will change from red to green.
You might think I’m paranoid, but it’s being paranoid that’s kept me in front of the CIA, Mossad, the FSB and MI6 for so long . . . .
. . . . anyway, the ride’s stats:
- Type: Cycle
- Date: 08/12/2007
- Total Time: 1:50:00.00
- Distance: 31.4 miles
- Average Speed: 17.13 mph
- Max Speed: 37 mph