A Catalogue of Errors
So on Saturday morning, I went to see the folks at Swiss Physio about my shoulder & neck. On the whole, this wasn’t the chiropractic pain-fest I was half expecting, but actually quite a gentle & civilised experience.
What did come out of it as I discussed my history of upper body injuries & likely causes for my current problems with the physio, was the undeniable fact that I seem to have notched up quite a few impacts over the years. As the physio remarked when I rather defensively commented that mistakes are the best teachers,
“Yes, but you can learn from other people’s mistakes - life’s too short to make them all yourself!”
So here’s the current list . . .
- Broken collarbone, probably at birth, as it’s never been picked up as a new break on any X-rays.
- Major concussion at 8 years old, when I rode into the back of a parked car (don’t ask)
- Mole on my chin from when I went over the handlebars about a year later and kissed the tarmac. I had bits of grit coming out of my lips for about the next three years. Pandering to US views on British dentistry . . . ALL kids in the UK have to do this - it’s the law.
- Two cracked ribs at 12 from playing rugby. Great to watch, rather painful to play! Mind you, I got off lightly - my friend Seth ended up with a broken back. But he’s hard as nails, and WALKED the three miles home!
- Picked up a couple of minor concussions playing ice hockey in my mid teens. Lots of ‘ice rash’ on my elbows from ice skating too. One really great smash into the wall around the ice rink which left me bruised from shoulder to hip for about three weeks.
- Mis-timed a corner on a bike in my late teens, and had a pedal strike. In the resulting mayhem, I snapped the saddle, but not with my legs. Ouch!
- Got jumped by a couple of guys on the way home from a bar in my second year at university. They didn’t like my hair, ripped up jeans & leathers. I could handle the first, but didn’t see his friend behind me with a “nice piece of hickory” or something similar. I got hit twice before I realised what was happening & made my getaway - once across the elbow / lower back, and once on the shoulder & side of my head. Spent a couple of nights in hospital peeing blood, seeing double, etc.
- Failed to correctly lift an 8′ fence post at the builders yard in my mid 20’s. Did something BAD to the muscles at the base of my shoulder blades.
- Learnt to ski in my early 30’s. Numerous low speed tumbles, and a couple of high speed wipe-outs.
- Ran over two knee-high bollards during a brick session in 1995 (again, don’t ask). Some concussion & whiplash strain to my neck from landing upside down on my head.
- Fell off Wilf while almost stationary last year - sprained wrist & destroyed ego (there were many, many witnesses).
- Fell off
GinaChristine this May. Low speed & wearing a helmet. So there was only a little road rash, some minor neck strain, and the remnants of my ego firmly ground into the dust.
As I roll this list off, it seems like a lot, and the physio seemed a little alarmed . . . but doesn’t everyone do this sort of thing? Or am I uniquely clumsy?