I Ain’t Never Goin’ Back, Ma.
Last week was BUSY. The work that I’ve been doing on our house for, oh, the last ten years is nearing completion, and like all good DIY jobs, is ending in a rush. Carpet fitters were coming, and everything needed getting ready.
But work was also pretty busy too. We were running a workshop in Bradford for a company looking to save $1M a year on line downtime, and prior to that, I was visiting a friend, who’s now landed a job as the Education & Skills Officer at a prison.
I’ve never been in a prison, and although this was only a category ‘B, rather than the maximum security category ‘A’ prison, it was still a very intimidating experience. Before I’d got through the gate’s security, I ended up feeling like “Nasty” Nick Cotton from Eastenders. Just like him, I have to say, “I ain’t never goin’ back, Ma”.
From the discussion I had, it’s clear that prison isn’t as simple as some politicians would have us think (”Prison works!”. Oh yeah? How come re-offending’s so common then?), but neither is it as unnecessary as your local beardy social worker would claim.
The prisoners I met were an interesting bunch - I got to see the garment factory, which is staffed by prisoners from the segregation wing. A nice bunch of lads, but I was reminded of what everyone who discovers their neighbour is actually a serial killer. It’s the most normal seeming of people who can do the most unpleasant of things.
Staying in Bradford for the workshop was an interesting experience too. My business partner, John, was getting in a couple of beers from the bar when I noticed something on the window ledge next to our table. I picked it up, and it seemed to be part of a blister pack for some tablets. On one side it was labeled with the manufacturer’s name, Pfizer, and had a single (EMPTY) diamond-shaped depression in the plastic.
Can you guess what it was yet? You can, uh, click the below image to enlarge it & see.
My initial idea was to slip this into John’s wallet for hilarious results when it fell out when he got home to his wife. Unfortunately I was laughing too much at the idea when he got back to our table.
The real worry for me is who’d taken the tablet? The guy who was chasing a woman out of the bar? The chap on the next table with the twinkle in his eye? Or the man who was apparently able to hold his hat in front of his trousers without using his hands?
In the end, I decided that I really didn’t want to know, and headed off to my room early to barricade the door & watch the last two episodes of “Heroes”.
Very much like prison, I’d decided that I ain’t never goin’ back to this hotel either!
- Type: Swim
- Date: 12/07/2007
- Total Time: 00:20:00.00
- Distance: 498.9 m
- Average Pace: 4:00.53/100m