Bad Hair Day

You wouldn’t believe the number of reasons that people dream up for not cycling, and staying instead in their nice, expensive, gas-guzzling, planet-wrecking, antisocial, unsafe cars. Via the Bike Darlington Blog, I came across this new research from Cycle England:

Two thirds (64%) of women say they never cycle and just 2% cycle every day [because:]

58% wouldn’t want to arrive at work sweaty

50% would be worried about getting wet in the rain

38% wouldn’t want to have to carry a change of clothes

38% say there is nowhere to shower at work

27% would be concerned about ‘helmet hair’

19% wouldn’t want colleagues to see them without make-up or stepping out of the office shower

So once again, this whole issue of you-can’t-ride-a-bike-without-a-shower rears it’s head again. This has already been extensively covered, but just in case you missed it, let me say it again. YES YOU CAN!

More worrying was the 27% who were concerned about ‘helmet hair’ though. Of course, one option here is to ditch the hair, and go for the Lance special. Ladies: you can get this look by visiting any barber’s located near an army barracks, and simply asking for a light trim.

But people tend not to want to hear such practical and helpful suggestions. Now I could start up this whole helmet debate thing here, and point out that an alternative way to avoid ‘helmet hair’ is to keep the hair, but ditch the helmet. But I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’d like to point out that even this brilliantly simple logic has a flaw.

Can you see it?

No?

Well let me explain. Over the summer, I’ve grown my hair a bit. At the same time, I’ve worn my helmet a whole lot less. As a result, I’ve discorered a whole new branch of hair dressing: The Cyclist’s Blow-Dry.

To achieve this excellent, stylish (not to say damned sexy) look, you will need to do the following:

Oversleep by about, oh, ten minutes.
Leap out of bed in a panic, and head straight for the shower (via the coffee pot - it’s not actually the end of civilisation yet).
After the shower, rush around throwing clothes on, packing bags etc for work. Basically, faff about ’till you’re gonna be properly late. But DON’T dry your hair!
Throw your bags on the bike’s rack, and head on up the street. This is particularly pleasant at this time of year, when the mornings seem bright and crisp, without being cold yet.
You can whistle a tune as you ride, and smile smugly at all motorists you pass in queues.
Arrive at work amazingly not late, and head straight into that early meeting.
Wonder why everyone is looking at you oddly.