Friday Caption Contest: Scottish Edition

No, we’re not going to be taking the piss out of Scotland today. We won’t be mocking her flag, and neither will we be making any references to the Acts of Union, nor will there be any mention here of the Battle of Culloden.

There will be none of the usual English stuff mocking kilts as a sort of skirt except that they’re worn without underwear. Actually, considering what I saw when I was last at the Bigg Market , the lack of underwear isn’t a differentiator between a kilt and a skirt. And under no circumstances will the entire nation be depicted as a bunch of Rab C Nesbitts .

Finally, and I want to make this absolutely clear, we will not be mocking Andy Murray - the man who it’s alleged changed nationality at this year’s Wimbledon, from British in the quarter finals to proudly Scottish in the semi final.

There are several reasons for this, but my top two would be:

1. Scotland’s just up the road, and not so long ago they’d send raiding parties south to teach soft English jessies a thing or two about how years of drizzle, midges, and getting your free-range knackers caught on gorse bushes would make a man really want to fight.
2. See 1.

So today’s caption contest is all about one of the things that makes Scotland great. No, not Islay Malt, but the Pedal For Scotland ride from Glasgow to Edinburgh . As recommended by Town Mouse , this event is taking place on the 13th September, and very much open to all (go on - you know you want to). The thing is, the Pedal for Scotland web site included this image of comedian Ford Kiernan:

So. Scotland as a whole is off limits. But if you can think up a suitably barbed, piss-taking, derisive caption for this image, write it here as a comment.

Who knows - with the right witty inspiration, you could find yourself making off with this week’s star prize* - a £70 ‘bicycle’ from Asda . The second prize is two such bikes . . .

Good luck!

*Remember - all our prizes are virtual. The only exception is when we have pairs of Fat The Other Rob’s soiled bib shorts to send out at prizes. Believe me, they’re all too real.

Filed under: Friday Caption Competition