Friday Caption Contest - Sponsored By The AA
First up - congratulations to Jim Davis for his winning entry to last week’s caption contest. His observation that the Raleigh Grifter had a long and painful development process that saw much of its purist refinements stripped out before S.O.P. hit the nail on the head. We’ll be sending Jim his very own time machine just as soon as that order we placed for one on Amazon in 2123 arrives.
For this week’s competition, we have this picture. The photo was supplied by Twitter user Peter Reed (@Tlatet), who also writes about ridding the world of grumpy old men (no - not like in Logan’s Run):
Your task this week is to come up with a slogan that shows why these are just the sort of items you need to wear 97% of the time. Perhaps you could also tell us why they’ll do about as much good as a chocolate fireguard for the other 3%. Sarcasm, profanity and blasphemy will be considered as acceptable parts of your answers this week, though for the sake of my Daughter’s innocence, I reserve the right to overtype certain words with stars. You know - words like h*lmet.
One lucky winner will receive a prize¹ that I just know you ALL want:
Several buckets of tar, a sack of feathers, and Edmund King (the AA’s president & AA Charitable Trust director) delivered pre-trussed to your front door by me and Tom Bailey.
Because although a poll can show that 97% of motorists want cyclists to wear helmets, perhaps a better question would be to ask how this would protect you when you’re hit by several tons of metal doing 50-70mph? Or how will it protect you when a lorry drives over you? Or will it make drivers give you more room when they overtake you?
The answer to all these questions is a resounding “no” - but you already knew that, didn’t you?
Good luck!
¹Remember - unlike the damage to drivers’ perceptions of what’s safe on the roads, all our prizes are virtual.
“Because when the bike comes from Halfords, you need all the help you can get.”
Tête à Text. Bringing a knife to a gun fight would be smarter.
its safety first at ghosts critical mass
Tar and feathers. Aha. Can I come too?
…because 97% of AA member feel better about forcing you off the roads if you are wearing Hi-viz and a helmet…
This amazingly preserved fossilised group dug out of a bog in 2211 shows a misguided 21st Century approach to cycling safety and is now on display in the Natural History Museum.
These riders wanted to make sure their helmets were visible, hence the lack of trousers
SMIDSY.
It’s true: Hi vis DOES render the wearer entirely invisible.
GERMANY:
Audi today rejected claims that their new “EYEF*CKER 3000″ headlamps were too bright.
Road Safety groups have claimed that the lights, twenty times brighter than the Bixenons used to blind other road users in previous Audi models, can obliterate living tissue.
Responding to the claim that the new, more efficient headlamps had a similar design to the disintegrator gun from “Mars Attacks!” Audi spokesman Rudolph Eimnotindicating said “Ak Akakak - I mean, these claims are presposterous. There is absolutely no evidence that our new, brighter headlamp dissolves flesh and bone with its beam. Well, not if you’re in a car, anyway, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.”
The Special Adviser to Eric Pickles’ pie chef was unavailable for comment.
AA suggests a new casualty free cycle scheme
“On your bike” (please wear AA helmet and vest)
n.b. The above comment from Edmund King was picked up by the spam filter, and I’m NOT convinced that it’s genuine!
Edmund said it was him. On Twitter.
“Or how will it protect you when a lorry drives over you?”
John Humphreys seemed to think it would, when he was interviewing Norman Baker on the Today programme.
Desperate.
[...] last week’s competition drew some very insightful entries - it seems that everyone from the President of the AA himself, right down to a small monkey from [...]
I often wonder which planet John Humphreys actually lives on, it sure as hell isn’t the same one as the rest of us…