The Demise Of Royal Mail Bicycles: A US-Led Plot

Remember all those stories about the Royal Mail phasing out its fleet of 24,000 bicycles “for safety reasons“?

Well I think I’ve uncovered the truth on this, and it’s a whole lot more sinister than even the Health & Safety State Police could imagine. As part of the planned privatisation of the Post Office, their lovely, sensible, red bikes are being flogged* to the Septics**:

Yes - these are the bikes operated by Capital Bike Share - yet another scheme to put a load of people on bikes so that they can go and play with the traffic.

Yep - just like in 1941 when the US finally got around to opening their invite to WW2, the citizens of Washington DC & Virginia have now joined in with the War On The Motorist (sic.) This is great news, as we could do with all the cannon fodder we can get over here. So welcome - there’s safety in numbers on our roads too.

*These aren’t really ex-Post Office bikes - they look like red versions of the Serco-supplied Boris Bikes that you can find in London. But you’ve got to admit - you did a double-take, didn’t you?

**Septic Tank = Yank. No offence. Just in case you didn’t know.

Filed under: Bike Culture

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3 Responses to “ The Demise Of Royal Mail Bicycles: A US-Led Plot ”

  1. Kim on May 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Hey now there is an idea, where can we get a cheap batch load of ex Royal Mail bikes? They would make great bike share scheme bikes….

  2. Tom on May 16, 2011 at 9:21 am

    I think pashley have some sort of deal with royal mail where they don’t sell second hand ones in the UK so no joy obtaining them here. Think they may go to Africa.

  3. John the Monkey on May 24, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Tom’s right, iirc - shame for us, but at least in Africa they can do some good.