I’m Hungry. Let’s Get Some Cake.
Remember this scene from Reservoir Dogs? Yes it contains strong language, so don’t press play if that sort of thing bothers you:
What does this have to do with us? I mean, it’s not as if we’re planning a bank vault robbery, is it?
Let’s re-script it:
Mr Orange - “What happens if the drivers won’t give you enough space?”
Mr White - “When you’re dealing with roads like these, they’re insured up to the hilt. So they’re terrified of losing their no-claims discount. And they’re supposed to give you plenty of space. If you get a driver who thinks his journey is too important to wait till it’s safe, look over your shoulder, signal and take an extra couple of feet of road - it freaks everybody out. You might get another driver honk at you; give them a look like you’re going to rip their wing mirrors off next. Point the finger that says ‘back the frack off’.
“Now if it’s a taxi driver, then that’s a different story. They should know better than to frack around. So if you get one that’s stopped ahead of the ASL, he probably thinks he’s a real cowboy. So you’ve got to break that son-of-a-bitch in two. Pull in front, take his number plate. And then tell him his license plate is next. Do it on film, and after that he’d tell you if he wears lady’s underwear.
“I’m hungry. Let’s get some cake.”
OK, so maybe that’s far more extreme and confrontational than most of us would ever want to be. But that first step - if drivers are passing too close, then you need to be assertive and pull out further towards the centre of the lane?
Yep, that works.
One more thing - if we are planning a bank vault job, please can I be Mr Black? Pleeeaase!