April Fool: Bikes Are Not Allowed On The Metro
The Tyne & Wear Metro doesn’t allow bikes. Apparently non-folding bikes are uniquely dangerous, although the Tyne & Wear Passenger Transport Authority can’t supply their risk assessments that led them to this conclusion. And despite years of lobbying, the Metro’s operator, Nexus won’t consider even a limited trial either.
So in response to this “Metro knows best” attitude, we decided to take some luggage on the Metro. According to the Tyne & Wear Metro’s Conditions of Carriage, you’re allowed:
You may, at the discretion of staff, take with you the following items provided they do not cause an obstruction, and are not put on seats:
- personal luggage
- pushchairs and buggies
- prams
- folded bicycles
- any other item provided that it is not dangerous or likely to injure anyone
You may not take:
- unfolded bicycles
- any item that is more than 2 metres long
- hazardous or inflammable substances
- any item which you are unable to carry yourself (including up and down stairways and escalators)
So we built a sculpture from plywood that’s in the shape of a bicycle - seen here before it was painted (it’s the one on the left). It’s less than 2m long, I can carry it myself, and critically, it’s not a bike:
As it was 1st April, we then tried to get this onto the Metro, having set ourselves some rules:
- Immediately obey all instructions from Metro staff, whether over the PA or in person. No argument - these people have jobs to do.
- Not to cause an obstruction with the fake bike.
- Not to try & smuggle it on the train - hence the “Look! I’m a CYCLIST” outfit.
- Not to try getting it onto a train if the train was already full. If there was no room, we’d only upset other passengers, and we didn’t want to do that.
- To make sure the fake bike was safe for people to be around. I spent a long time sanding off all the sharp edges & splinters.
Here’s what happened:
And here are some photos - as you can see, rather than being discreet about it, I got dressed up as a Proper Cyclist:
I bought a ticket for me and my item of luggage:
And we even got directions to the right platform from the Metro’s helpful staff:
Ultimately we failed. I got asked to leave the Monument Metro Station by an announcement over the PA system, and although I managed to board a train at Central Station, the driver asked me to get off within 20 seconds of taking my seat.
The funny thing is, we got the Not A Bike into Newcastle… by taking the Metro:
So here’s my advice for anyone who wants to take a bike on the Tyne & Wear Metro (for example, anyone who’s just finished the C2C & wants to get a train home from Newcastle):
- Take the wheels off your bike
- Wrap it in a dust sheet
- it’ll keep the mucky, greasy bits of your bike away from other passengers
- this is nice thin, lightweight material
- a 3m x 2m sheet takes up hardly any room in your luggage & weighs next to nothing
- Be discreet. When the train arrives, stand in front of your bike and then amble onto the train with the crowd.
We have bikes on metros all over Germany, as the parent company of the Metro knows full well. They really need to get their act together on this one.
For years when I was at Uni I took an 8ft long surfboard on the metro pretty much every weekend. Not a single comment. Ever.
There is a truly ludicrous attitude to bicycle in this country, it really is time we got over it and started to think about how to make people friendly integrated transport work.
during the BRT on railway path debacle, the councillor with the transport mandate said that “public transport and bicycles were a good mix”, despite FirstBus’s no bikes rule.
One planned protest here was to be, across the entire city, to try and bicycles on buses. When you got turned down, you’d cycle ahead to the next stop and try again. Imagine every bus being chased by people in bicycles trying to get on with their bikes…
Come to West Yorkshire Karl you and your bike will be made more than welcome , even on the train. northern rail are great and will take you to some wonderful places to cycle. Hopefully see you soon.
well done an almost successful April fools joke. The Metro people obviously didn’t see the funny and mickey taking side of your protest. What ever next, dogs in space? Or wouldn’t NASA allow that either. Come the revolution brothers.
A very peaceful example of civil disobedience…kudos to you for handling yourself with such aplomb!
On my way home one day last week, there was a good-natured exchange between the ticket inspector and a passenger with a bicycle. (Good natured, that is, apart from the intervention of some pompous arse shouting “quite right, throw the bloody thing out”)
Inspector stated that bikes were forbidden on this service, probably because that is what it said on the information board for that train. Cyclist referred inspector to the timetable: there, it states clearly that “ On services shown [broadly between 7am and 9am, and between 4pm and 7pm], cycles may not board or alight from stations shown in red”.
This means, for example, that a cycle can be taken on board at Waterloo, and carried all the way past Guildford to the next stop, but could not be taken off at Woking or Guildford. The policy is clear, although the rationale is about as clear as mud to me.
Inspector conceded the point cheerfully and everyone was happy – apart from the pompous arse.
Bikes do give rise to tensions though. In two of each set of four carriages there is an area for bicycles, pushchairs, big cases etc, with fold-down seats. It is amazing how passengers gravitate to these seats when there are plenty of other empty seats nearby but heigh-ho. South West Trains confirmed to me by email that bikes/pushchairs etc have priority to use this area, but do you think bums shift from these seats and park on adjacent empty ones when they see a bike? No, they don’t. Arguments sometimes result.
The answer of course is to get a Brompton – if you can afford it. They are classed as luggage and don’t seem to create much conflict at all.
Wow! Perhaps they would like to take a tip from Pdx TriMet:
http://trimet.org/howtoride/bikes/bikesonmax.htm
hi..
you can also take your bike on the New York subway.. I know they are somewhat alike.. but down town Manhatten and Ilford road are may be just a a tad apart ..????
Good luck with your eminently sensible campaign. In the absence of any plausible explanation for the Metro bike ban, perhaps I can offer my own guess.
The Metro is a very lightly staffed system and subject to all kinds of antisocial behaviour, especially in the evening. That is a sad fact.
Perhaps the operators fear an influx of rowdy youths on bikes causing mayhem.
A trial would provide evidence of the practicality of cycle carriage.