At The Sharp End Of The War On The Motorist

I’ve been away for a while. No - not “away” like Marty McFly’s uncle Joey - I mean just busy. Flat out full-on deadline-passing late and trying to catch up busy.

Anyway, today I was riding in the rain through the excellent cycle facility that is Newcastle’s Percy Street, when I heard the loudest, strangest vehicle behind me. It sounded like a tractor being ripped apart by that bloke from the James Bond films with the metal teeth.

As I was busy dealing with the homicidal drivers in front of me, and could hear that it was in the next lane, I didn’t bother to look round.

It pulled level with me at the next set of lights:

That’s a tank. A flippin’ tank! With tracks and a gun! A TANK!

The crew seemed to be enjoying themselves, though the driver couldn’t hear my challenge to a race from the lights because of his ear defenders.

I’ve no idea what they were doing in Newcastle, but when I left them, they were heading down to the Bigg Market. From this, I surmise that they had either:

  1. In town to keep the peace. The Bigg Market can get pretty alarming at times.
  2. Stolen the tank à la Mike Watt, and they were just in town for a good time.
I guess we’ll never know.

Filed under: Bike Culture

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5 Responses to “ At The Sharp End Of The War On The Motorist ”

  1. Carlton Reid on May 17, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Bet they never get shouted at for “not paying road tax.”

  2. Downfader on May 17, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Cyclelane enforcer…

  3. katsdekker on May 18, 2012 at 8:29 am

    Relax. They were after me, I jumped a red.

  4. John the Monkey on May 18, 2012 at 8:44 am

    Daily Mail readers. They’ve heard about the menace you cyclists pose to right thinking folk, and so are doing the responsible thing.

  5. Tom on May 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    Did the man offer you a ride in his “little tank” a la lieutenant Gruber ?

    http://www.windofkeltia.com/allo/grubertank.jpg